The Throne Room
| Image = The_Throne_Room.jpg | ImageSize = | Caption = The thumbnail for , featuring the official art of Pike Trickfoot by Kit Buss. | ChapterNum = 1 | EpNum = 07 | GnSNum = C1E7 | Airdate = 2015-04-23 19:00 PDT | Runtime = 3:58:41 | VOD = http://geekandsundry.com/critical-role-episode-7/ | Podcast = http://criticalrolepodcast.geekandsundry.com/e/episode-7-the-throne-room/ | Starring = | SpecialGuests = | PrevChapterEp = | NextChapterEp = | PrevAirdateEp = | NextAirdateEp = }} is the seventh episode of the first season of Critical Role. With an uneasy agreement struck between Lady Kima of Vord and Clarota, Vox Machina quietly begins a search of Emberhold. Lady Kima means to strike a blow against their unseen enemy by cutting off the head of K'Varn's military forces, but the ensuing battle may come at a price... Synopsis Pre-Show Announcements * Travis Willingham (Grog) is not joining the cast for this episode. * Promo kits are still available. For every 50 subscribers there will be a draw in the chat. * Every 10 subs, Steam keys for different games will be given away. * Promoted their charity, 826LA. * There will be a giveaway from Espionage Cosmetics, with the winner selected at the break. Previously on ''Critical Role'' The party were given a mission to seek out a female halfling paladin, named Lady Kima of Vord, who had been missing while on a vision quest, seeking a deep dark evil that had grow beneath the dwarven city of Kraghammer. The party traveled to the city, delved deep within its caverns and ended up in the Underdark — a landscape of terror and darkness. They allied themselves with an illithid, Clarota, who is exiled from his society and wishes reentry by saving them from K'Varn. After a series of battles with the duergar and illithid, they found their way into the duergar fortress, Emberhold, where they saved Lady Kima from torture. A tenuous alliance between Kima and Clarota was forged and they all head back to the main floor of the fortress. Part I Two duergar are now in the hallway on the main floor. Vax slips by down another hallway that is empty and keeps going. Vex whispers angrily, "Why are you doing this?" Vax finds a smithy and invites an invisible Scanlan and Clarota to follow him. As they catch up, Vax moves around to the second door to the smithy and throws his Keen Dagger into the base of the duergar blacksmith's skull. Kima, angry, and tired of waiting, follows after the scouting party, fortunately appearing not to catch the guards' attention. When she joins them, she looks around for her equipment but doesn't find anything and continues on. The others, still at the stairs, follow as well. As Vex and Trinket enter the empty hallway, something alerts one of the guards and they both move towards them. Vax, who is just around the corner, stabs one of them as they move passed. Vex shoots the second duergar, who then enlarges in size. Percy, on the other side of the hall from Vax, hits him with the butt of his gun. Now incapacitated, Pike slits his throat with her Mace of Disruption. Returning to Kima, Vax places his hand on her shoulder, "Allow me." And he again takes the lead. Listening at a door, and hearing nothing, Vax proceeds to check for traps and unlock the door to a commode. Tiger-Keyleth and Grog move the bodies of the guards inside. Vax bypasses an empty barracks and proceeds to a red-carpeted foyer that leads to the front entrance of the fortress. Across from the entrance is a set of wooden doors which he listens at. He hears nothing, but notices that the door is unlocked. Scanlan goes back, opens the door to a guest room and takes a dump on the bed just as Vex passes in the hall. Of course, Scanlan is still invisible, so all she sees is apparating poo. Vax peers in the door he's listening at and sees a great hall. A glimmer on one of the tables catches his eye, and he is about to investigate when Tiberius pushes ahead and gets spotted by two duergar down a perpendicular hallway. The guards throw javelins at Tiberius, but he manages to cast Blur on himself first, causing them to miss. Vex climbs on Trinket's back and fires at them. The duergar advance on Tiberius with their hammers. Only one hits, and their frustration manifests as they both increase in size. Tiger-Keyleth vaults off of Grog's back, and, upon landing, clamps around the arm of a guard and bites down hard. He hits her on the snout and tears his arm from her jaws. Vax peers out of the great hall and throws two daggers, the second causing a lethal blow. Tiberius casts a Fire Bolt at the last guard, causing his armor to tear and his skin to char. Tiberius fires a second bolt that knocks him off his feet, dead on the ground. Keyleth drags the guard to the bathroom, as Scanlan exits the guest room pulling on his invisible pantaloons. Vax returns to check out the shiny thing, Clarota, Kima, Scanlan, Percy, Pike and Vex following. The glimmer on the table is formless. Vex calls out, "It's a trap!" It vanishes, the doors slam shut, and the room goes dark. Vax responds, "Fuck." Pike, Vex and Clarota feel a searing pain so severe it stuns them. Vax pulls out his Flametongue Dagger for light. A mind flayer appears out of the darkness and grabs Vax, wrapping its tentacles around his face. Kima leaps on top of the table, runs towards the mind flayer and smites it. Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Tiberius points at Grog and says, "You know what to do, dammit." Grog rages and takes two big swings at the door, cleaving it in two, and moves into the room. Vax pulls free of the mind flayer's grasp and stabs it with his Dagger of Venom, killing it. Tiberius waltzes into the room and casts Light and then Obelisk of Stone under a second mind flayer. The mind flayer rolls off the pillar before it slams into the ceiling and then disappears. Vex, Pike and Clarota come to their senses, but Vox Machina has lost any advantage of surprise they may have had. Vox Machina hurriedly searches the rest of the floor. Keyleth, Percy, Pike, Tiberius, and Vax investigate a temple with a statue of Laduguer. Tiger-Keyleth finds a freshly rotting heart on the altar, picks it up in her mouth and places it at Vax's feet. Vax scritches Keyleth behind the ear, nudging the heart aside with his toe, and then exits the temple. Simultaneously, Scanlan opens the door to magical laboratory, with a robed duergar inside. As the door opens a jet of fume sprays poison at him. Vex rushes over and attacks the duergar, pinning him against wall. The robed duergar speaks, "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, don't attack. Let's have a conversation." Vex responds, "Speak fast, before I kill you." Vex and Trinket enter the room. As they enter, two more plumes of poison jets out of the ground. Trinket is poisoned and starts coughing and thrashing, so Vex casts Protection from Poison on him. Scanlan yells at him with Vicious Mockery, "I don't like you very much for poisoning me and my friends. You're a poopy head." The mage is filled with self-loathing and disappointment, momentarily distracted from casting a spell. While investigating an armory, Percy triggers a trap by stepping on a tile. A lightning bolt zaps out at him but he dodges out of the way. Kima pushes passed everyone standing in the doorway to the magic lab, grabs the mage by his robes and pulls him forward intimidatingly, "Listen, where is the rest of your fucking army?" "Alright, they're waiting for you up there. You're not going to survive this. At this point the entire city is probably waiting for you on the outside of the fortress and those that are upstairs are well prepared. Your best chance of survival is laying down your arms and surrendering." Kima releases him briefly before grabbing his throat and squeezing it, cutting off the air to his lungs, and then slowly pushes her great sword into his abdomen as he screams in pain, "You're going to tell me, right now, who they have waiting for us upstairs." With the sword now up to its hilt pinning him to the bookcase behind, he answers, "Whoever you haven't killed. The army's probably up with the King himself. They're all waitin' for ya. And I hope they feast on yer body when they're done." Kima twists the blade and the duergar yelps as his eyes go blank. Kima kicks his body of the blade and wipes it on her leather armor. Break * Marisha reminds viewers of the giveaway from Espionage Cosmetics. * The Critical Role intro and character intro videos were re-aired. * Zac Eubank announced that Geek & Sundry had reached their daily goal of 50 subscribers for which they were giving away a Tabletop promo kit and promoted the charity, 826LA. * Marisha announced the winner for the Espionage Cosmetics giveaway. * Matt announces that they have a limited run of t-shirts available for purchase at CritRole.com. They sold out before the break was finished. Part II After a short rest, and a Song of Rest from Scanlan, Vax asks Kima what they should do. "What I'm seeking lies deeper into this cavern. Whatever is at the heart of this illithid scourge, at [[Clarota]] there's something far darker at the heart of this temple. I've seen it. … the link between those foul creatures and the assault that's currently mounting against Kraghammer, lie upstairs in the center of duergar people." This is how K'Varn has been able to send armies to the back door of Kraghammer. "Besides, if we go on, leave them as they are, who's to say they wouldn't come up behind us. And then we're fighting a two-sided front once we get there." To this Vax responds, "Vox Machina, our years are short, let's make good use of them." Scanlan: "Let's leave this decision up to Grog." Tiberius: "Absolutely not!" Grog: "I say, I haven't been able to kill much since we got here. Let's kill something!" And Grog pours everyone some ale. Vex toasts, "This could potentially kill us all." Scanlan posits the idea that the party should pretend to be the big scary monster that the duegar are afraid of, to distract and intimidate them. Tiberius: "I have an idea." Scanlan: "Does it involve shitting on a bed?" Tiberius: "Eventually, actually, yes. … I will cast ''Alter Self and turn myself into their god. As I give my — whatever the hell I come up with to say at that particular time —…"'' Scanlan: "Maybe you should think it through first." Tiberius: "As soon as the mind flayers catch on that's when all of you strike at them first. The rest of you wait until I shoot off a couple of ''Fireballs at the duergar once they figure out that we're full of crap. 'Cause i sure that's going to happen unless I'm super convincing." Percy: ''"The only thing better than their god would be their god on top of a giant scorpion." Pike: "Can I cast ''Thaumaturgy, which can make your voice three times louder?"'' Vex: "Oh, that's going to be so cool." Keyleth: "Some theatrics." Percy: "This is a plan." Vax: "I love it when a good plan comes together." Clarota: "You're all crazy. I like it." Kima: "You know, for once I actually agree with the thing. Alright, lead the way." With a plan hatched, they make their way up the stairs stealthily. Vax checks for and disables a magical trap. Then he and Vex sneak to the end of the hall and peeks around the corner, where they see six duergar guarding two large doors into the large, main chamber. They call over some magic casters to get rid of them. Tiberius casts Watery Sphere which engulfs all of the guards. Keyleth casts Call Lightning on the sphere, killing all but one, who is finished off by Scanlan's Vicious Mockery. Losing the element of surprise, Vax slaps Tiberius on the tail, "Get ready to deity," and they commence with their plan. Scorpion-Keyleth charges the doors, with Laduguer-Tiberius on her back, and they splinter open. The throne room is full of duergar. Two are sitting on thrones on a raised platform. There is one mind flayer and two chained basilisks. Laduguer-Tiberius booms in a Scottish accent, "Silence! All of you silence. Who knows who I am?" Some duergar take a step back, frightened and awed. One throws down his hammer and kneels. "Well, it looks like there's one saved soul at this point in time," continues Tiberius and others kneel. The two figures on the thrones stand up. The king speaks, "You're kneeling before this false idol. This impostor-" "Silence!" Tiberius interrupts and breaths a plume of fire. "That's right boy, I am Laduguer. You know. And you know your deeds as of late might upset my rest. All of you, lay down your arms!" The duergar move away from Tiberius in fear. King Murghol appeals to their sense of loyalty, "Men, I've trained you, I've raised you, I've fed you, and I've kept you alive." "And I don't care for you to finish that sentence." Tiberius casts Fireball on the king. Meanwhile, Vax and Vex have sneaked into the back of the room through the back door, and Vax gets caught in Tiberius' Fireball. The duergar resist most of the blast. The lizard creatures look up at Tiberius and he becomes restrained. "Those that want to live, throw down your arms." Vax surprises the mind flayer and stabs it in one of its eyes. Grog comes into the room and throws his axe at a duergar but misses. Scanlan casts "Lightning Bolt" on the two basilisks and inspires Vax, "I want to sing a song of inspiration, of inspiration." The king, who was narrowly missed by Scanlan's Lightning Bolt, runs towards him, while growing in size, and slashes him with his sword. Vex moves her Hunter's Mark to the king and kills five duergar with a casting of Conjure Barrage. Keyleth, Tiberius and Grog are also hit. Trinket moves towards the queen. Kima swings her divinely glowing great sword and cleaves a basilisk in two and then follows up with a strike at the king, who parries. King Murghol glares at her, "Ooh, you're supposed to be downstairs for play time." Queen Ulara casts Blur but Tiberius counters it, "What do you think you're doing, lass?" Instead, she casts Chain Lightning, hitting Vex, Vax (who evades), Kima, and Scanlan. Tiberius casts another Fireball, this time from his Ring of Spell Storing, killing all of the remaining duergar guards. And follows that with an Ice Knife between the queen and a basilisk, spraying them with ice shards. "How d'like them apples?" Clarota steps forward and enters a contest of wills with mind flayer. After an intense stare, the air shimmering between them, the mind flayer's gaze turns its attention towards queen. Scorpion-Keyleth moves to the king, with Laduguer-Tiberius manically laughing on her back. She tries to strike King Murghol with her tail and claws but can't get through his armor. Pike casts Mass Cure Wounds, healing everyone but Grog. Percy shoots and hits a basilisk twice, gaze averted. But Tiberius is still petrified by its gaze and falls off of Keyleth. Lady Kima, currently in a blood frenzy against the king, is not paying attention to the basilisk, and catches a glimpse of it out of the corner of her eye, and she begins to turn to stone. The dominated mind flayer makes a tentacle attack at the queen but she dodges. Vax sneaks up to one basilisk, stabs and kills it, then runs to Kima and smears the blood from his blade onto her eyes. Grog attacks the queen, hitting an invisible barrier of magical force but managing to critically wound her. Scanlan suggests to the king that he has the urge to lay down his weapon and do a headstand, just to see if he can do it. King Murghol resists the suggestion and looks at Scanlan angrily. King Murghol attacks Scanlan, and when he falls unconscious, he turns to Lady Kima for one strike. Vex casts Hail of Thorns at the queen and also hits the mind flayer and Grog. She hits the queen again with her Blazing Bowstring. Kima smites the king twice with her sword before turning to stone. The queen casts Dominate Person on Grog. "I won't die. My love, I'm sorry, but there's much more work to be done," then she casts Disintegrate on the ceiling, and a glowing mass of hot molten magma pours in. Clarota grabs Lady Kima and drags her out the doorway to the stairs. Keyleth uses Wind Wall to cool the magma, which slows but begins to crack. "This isn't going to hold for long! Let's get the hell out of here." Pike heals Scanlan, bringing him back to consciousness and starts to drag Tiberius out of the throne room. The king takes a swipe at her as she moves by, but it dings off her armor. Percy shoots at the hole in the ceiling with his Ice Shot barrel hoping to cool it long enough for them to escape. Then takes three shots at the king, one bullet ripping flesh and exposing skull. Mind flayer, no longer dominated, vanishes. Vax darts toward the queen and makes a couple of stabs. Grog attacks Vax. Scanlan attacks the king with his Singing Dawnblade and decapitates him. "You should have stood on your head." Vex calls Trinket back and then moves to attack the queen. "We've got business elsewhere," Queen Ulara touches Grog, casts Dimension Door, and they both vanish through it. The columns holding up the ceiling cracks, widening the hole where the magma is pouring in. Vex yells, "We’ve got to get out!" Vax and Percy pick up a petrified Tiberius. Keyleth casts Create or Destroy Water to slow the flow of the magma. Vox Machina race to the secret exit, Pike and Scanlan falling behind. Vax starts looking for the opening mechanism, but before he can, Keyleth casts Stone Shape turning it to clay and ripping a hole in it, "Sorry, Vax. I didn’t mean to, like, overstep there." As they step out, some of them get hit with a spray of magma and Vax falls, unconscious. Pike and Trinket pull him out but not until after the magma damages his right foot and leg. Pike heals some of the damage but it is scarred and he has trouble moving stealthily. Afterword Zac Eubank thanks Arislan, Alduin, JakeBoudreaux, Negihama and Duganator8 for pitching in to buy dinner. He makes some scheduling announcements for Geek & Sundry and reads out the names of those who made donations to 826LA. Featured Characters Vox Machina * Keyleth * Percival de Rolo * Scanlan Shorthalt * Tiberius Stormwind * Grog Strongjaw (DM-controlled) * Pike Trickfoot * Trinket * Vax'ildan * Vex'ahlia New * Unnamed duergar blacksmith * Four unnamed duergar guards * Two unnamed illithids * Unnamed duergar magic user * King Murghol * Queen Ulara * Nine unnamed duergar and one illithid in throne room Returning * Clarota * Lady Kima of Vord Mentioned * K'Varn * Sarenrae Inventory Quotations * Vex: "Maybe you can put yourself in a box and walk around in it." Vax: "I continue to creep away, from my sister, specifically." * Scanlan: "Wait! What about us." and "Why don't you just keep going forever?" response to Vax's scouting ahead, alone. * Scanlan: singing "We're walkin' down a hall. Nobody's watching us." * Vex: "All I want to do is find the damn treasure room!" *Liam O'Brien: "Kill this asshole." * Liam: "Vaccinate your kids." from the group "I mean, don't "Vax"inate them stabbing motion, vaccinate them." * Pike: sarcastically "Definitely, the stealthy ones, with me." * Keyleth: "You're not going to kill another pony, are you?" Scanlan: "I can't anymore. Much as I would love to." * Sam Riegel: jokingly "'Contested Roll'. That was almost the name of this show. Not as catchy." * Scanlan: Pike "Thank you, my love." * Scanlan: "He's stoned. I think you pee on the body and it cures him." Tiberius: "…" Scanlan: "Let's try it and find out." * Vax: "Ah, it’s hot, it’s hot, it’s hot!" Vex: "Hot hot hot hot hot." * Sam: "Aw, that’s his best leg." * Vex: "Ew, get that away from me." Trivia * Scanlan got How do you want to do this? on King Murghol. References Art: External Links * Episode transcript